Arrr, the far left be wantin' to sink PayPal and Zelle, so stash yer doubloons wisely, matey!
2024-08-28
Avast ye! Matters not how much these scallywags adore their shiny treasure chests like Zelle 'n PayPal, for the far-left brigands be scheming to sink 'em! Aye, they aim to hoist the ol' Jolly Roger of government in their stead! Arrr, what a right jape!
Ahoy mateys! Gather ye round and lend an ear to the curious tale of some landlubber politicians, like that scallywag Sen. Elizabeth Warren and her crew, who’ve set their sights on the noble vessels of peer-to-peer payment! Aye, they be banding together to craft a beastly piece of legislation aimed at the likes of PayPal, Venmo, and Zelle—fine tools that've made the lives of us swashbucklers much easier!Now, ye see, these scoundrels have had a long-standing grudge against such innovations. They be likin’ their coffers filled by the U.S. dollar and view cryptocurrencies as a threat to their treasure. Instead of lettin’ the good folk sail freely, they concoct schemes to regulate these payment processors, hopin’ to replace ’em with some government-run contraption!
With a new bill in hand, the “Protecting Consumers from Payment Scams Act,” they aim to make these payment platforms responsible for all the fools sendin’ gold to ghostly figures. But fear not, me hearties! The actual aim here be to sink these companies and spread discontent amongst their user base. Thankfully, the Republican crew on the Financial Services Committee shall hoist the Jolly Roger and send this bill to Davy Jones’ locker! Onwards to smoother seas, I say!