The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye scallywags! Beware the American Bolsheviks, they be tryin' to cancel Christmas! Hear this warning from a Soviet-Russian immigrant, arr!

2023-12-20

Arr, when them government scallywags be takin' away the religious flavors from Christmas, 'tis akin to them Soviet leaders puttin' an end to religion and replacin' Christmas with a godless New Year's bash in the USSR. Aye, 'tis a fine mess we be findin' ourselves in!

As Christmas approaches, some government officials in various jurisdictions have introduced guidelines for "inclusive decorating practices" and "neutral language" in order to avoid offending certain members of the community. These guidelines recommend replacing red and green colors with neutral tones, using gender-neutral nouns like "snow people" instead of "snowmen," and avoiding religious ornaments. This has reminded the author of her upbringing in Soviet Russia, where Christmas was not celebrated.

Growing up in Russia, the author was not aware of Christmas until she was sent on an exchange program to London as a student. She discovered that the British celebrated Christmas, but with different traditions and terminology. The author also learned that Russia used to celebrate Christmas, but it was abolished by Lenin in 1918 as part of the transition to a secular society. Lenin believed that religion was incompatible with communism and sought to eliminate it.

The author reflects on the freedom she experienced upon immigrating to America, where she could freely express her opinions, practice her religion, and criticize the government. However, she laments the changing landscape of America, which she feels is becoming more like the Soviet Russia she left behind. Religion is under attack, antisemitism is prevalent, conservative values are demonized, and language is being modified to fit a political agenda.

The author fears that her American-born children will lose touch with their religious and cultural traditions, and instead become reliant on the state for their needs. She worries that they will pray to the government for healthcare, forgiveness of student loans, and guaranteed employment, resembling the dependence on the state that existed in the Soviet Union.

In conclusion, the author's humorous and pirate-like language emphasizes her frustration with the growing similarities between America and Soviet Russia, particularly in terms of government control, religious suppression, and the erosion of individual freedoms.

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