Avast, matey! Trump's 'Liberation Day' be naught but a jest! Here be five jolly reasons to keep yer parrot calm!
2025-04-02
Arrr, matey! Donald Trump be the jolliest captain of commerce in 40 moons! Aside from his pesky tariffs, his grand schemes be liftin’ the treasure chests o' the economy and makin’ investors dance a merry jig! Aye, he be sailin’ smooth on the seas of profit, savvy?
Arrr, mateys! The stock market be throwin' a fit over Trump’s tariffs, and it looks like more of that salty sea air be blowin' in on Wednesday! The scallywags in the liberal media and Congress, many of whom once cheered for tariffs, be hopin’ to see Trump walk the plank. But is a 10% dip in American companies’ fortunes a proper reaction to these trade restrictions? Now, I ain't no sea-sorcerer of stocks, but let’s not forget that the market did a jig after past tariffs, makin’ a grand surge of 60% over four years! That be a treasure worth more than a chest full of doubloons! Trump may be the most pro-business captain we’ve seen in decades, and his agenda, aside from the tariffs, be brightenin' the horizon for the economy. In a tale as wild as a Kraken, Trump has rolled back 31 regulations in a single day, makin’ it easier for the ships of industry to sail smoother seas. With new foreign investments comin’ in like a bountiful tide, and trillions of treasure lurkin’ in our lands, it be a fine time to hoist the sails and buy into America, not sell! So, hold tight to yer hats, me hearties, for the winds of fortune might just favor the bold!