The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, me hearties! Gregg Jarrett be sayin' Trump’s case in York be as useless as a leaky ship!"

2024-11-12

Ahoy, matey! The New York scallywags be chasin' ol' Trump 'round in circles, like a ship lost in a storm! Forsooth, ‘tis naught a crime to keep a secret deal under me hat if it be as legal as a parrot on me shoulder! Arrr!

Arrr, mateys! As the left's grand scheme to bury Captain Trump in legal treachery be sinkin’ faster than a ship full o’ cannonballs, Judge Juan Merchan be delayin’ his ruling on whether to toss out the President-elect’s conviction. Aye, he’s wantin’ to hear from the Manhattan D.A., Alvin Bragg, first, ‘fore makin’ any rash decisions, no doubt calculatin’ the constitutional winds blowin’ in the ol' sailor’s favor!

Ye see, the law be clear as the horizon on a calm day: a sittin’ president be immune from any criminal charges whilst he steers the ship o’ state. And this be extendin’ to the president-elect as he prepares to hoist the sails of governance! If Bragg doesn’t tuck his tail and dismiss the case, the good judge must do so in the name of justice, or risk makin’ a mockery of the law!

But alas, the whole affair be a jumbled mess o’ legal nonsense! Bragg be chasin’ shadows with charges that stink worse than salty seaweed! The Democrats thought they could drag Trump down to Davy Jones' locker, but lo and behold, he turned into a victim in the eyes of the crew—er, I mean, voters! So now, both Bragg and Merchan be faced with the choice to scuttle this dubious case or risk the tides of public wrath and judicial review. I say, they best take the safe passage while they still can!

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