Arrr, why be them Russian scallywags so fixated on the Democratic hullabaloo and singin' praises fer Walz, eh?
2024-08-23
Arrr matey! This week’s Democratic shindig in the windy city be under the keen eye of the Russian scallywags, who be showerin’ praise on the captain of the vice ship, Gov. Tim Walz! Aye, even them landlubbers can’t help but tip their hats to the lad!
Ahoy mateys! The Russian media be in a right tizzy this week, coverin’ the Democratic National Convention like a ship’s crew plyin’ the high seas! From Pravda to Izvestiya, these landlubbers be reportin’ on the presidential squabbles o’ the good ol’ U.S. of A. as if it be the grandest treasure hunt. Why, ye ask? 'Tis simple! They’ve branded the Yanks as their top foe, followin’ the wise words of that ancient strategist, Sun Tzu. Aye, knowin’ yer enemy be key!The Russian scribes be contemplatin’ whether it be Trump and his matey Vance or Harris and her sidekick Walz who might sink the ship of America deeper into the briney sea of trouble. For, ye see, if it be bad fer the Yanks, it be a merry day for the Russians! They even penned a full-page love letter to Walz, claimin’ he be falsely accused of bein’ a secret agent fer China! Arrr, what a tale!
So, as the U.S. prepares fer battle in November, let’s ponder which crew might steer the ship away from the treacherous waters of socialism and back to the shores of prosperity. Aye, there be gold at the end of this election rainbow, if ye choose wisely!