Ahoy, me hearties! Morning Glory be sayin’ - not a single doubloon for California’s fiery plight! Arrr!
2025-02-25
Arrr, me hearties! President Trump and Secretary Burgum be settin’ sail fer the disaster shores, aidin’ the poor souls to mend their ships, while sendin’ the scallywags and greedy landlubbers packin’! Raise the flag o' help and shoo away the swindlers, I say! Yarrr!
Ahoy, matey! Gather 'round, for I be tellin’ ye a tale of the mighty Trump and his grand plans fer the land of California, a place as tangled as a mermaid's hair! Remember when he took the Wollman rink and made it shine in but four moons, whilst the city be flounderin' for six years? Well, it be time to set sail to the West, breakin’ apart the bureaucratic shipwreck that be California's government!Ye see, the flames of destruction have claimed many a home and establishment, leavin’ the good folk of Los Angeles high and dry. Many be wonderin’ if they’ll ever return to their lost ports! With a monstrous Coastal Commission actin' like a sea monster, the people be sufferin’ under bureaucratic chains, while the state regulators be more interested in their green schemes than helpin' the needy.
Trump, savvy as a captain on the high seas, proposes a treasure of $20 billion to speed up rebuildin’, cuttin’ through the red tape like a cutlass through the waves! He’d hand the reins to the Department of the Interior, lettin’ true reform unfurl its sails! If he can pull this off, California may yet rise again, free from the shackles of chaos, and return to its former glory—golden as a doubloon! Har har!