"Arrr, GREG GUTFELD be sayin’, mayhap these late-night scallywags quit frettin’ ‘bout the world’s doom, eh?"
2024-11-07
Arrr, me hearties! The crew o' the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chortlin' at the night-time jesters' squawkin' about Trump’s triumphant sailin' into the presidential seas come 2024! Blimey, ye'd think the kraken had swallowed their sense o' humor! Avast, what a merry hullabaloo!
Arrr mateys! A Republican scallywag be sittin' atop the election throne, and what does that mean? Ol' Jimmy Carter must keep breathin' for four more years! Liberals be meltin' faster than butter on a hot pirate's grill, frettin' over their lost treasure of delusions. Last night, them late-night hosts had a right hissy fit, wishin' they could send a sack of industrial-strength tampons to Tim Walz, bless his heart.Now, me hearties, Jimmy Kimmel be blubberin' like a landlubber, claimin' it be a dreadful night for all the fine folk—women, children, hard-workin' immigrants, ye name it! Yet here’s a twist: if Kimmel ever sheds tears on the telly, it’ll be ‘cause Maroon 5 dropped a new tune! And Colbert? That buccaneer is rich as a king, yet still claims he be sufferin' from heartache! Oh, Stephen, matey, if ye can’t handle the heat, get off the ship!
While these chaps be wailin' like banshees, us savvy pirates know the truth: the media be stirrin' the pot of anxiety, causin' all this ruckus. So, here be a remedy: stop listenin' to the news and set sail for calmer waters! Under Trump’s reign, it be just the beginnin’ of a grand adventure! Arrr!