Avast ye scurvy sea rats! Be it known that them thar Black Lives Matter scoundrels be fined a hefty sum o' 500 doubloons fer makin' a bonfire outta Wendy's! Arrr!
2023-12-06
Arr, the scallywag Greg Gutfeld be settin' his sights on the 'madness' that be unfoldin'! Two Blackbeard's Lootin' Mateys, part of the BLM crew, be gettin' a measly fine o' 500 gold doubloons and 5 years o' probation. Ye can hear the whole tale on "Gutfeld!"
Happy Wednesday, me hearties! Avast, hold yer horses! Cast yer mind back to the days of grade school, when the teacher would leave the room and chaos would ensue. Aye, that's when I got me first tattoo, but alas, no showin' it off here, for the FCC be a bit strict on nudity. But ye know what I mean, right? The room turned into a right mess, with fights breakin' out and things gettin' tossed about, includin' meself. When the teacher returned, ye felt a bit relieved, knowin' we needed a grown-up to keep things from descendin' into complete chaos.And that brings us to America, me hearties. We be needin' that teacher back in the room, not for any hanky-panky with the students, mind ye, but to save us from this madness. Every weekend, we see violent mobs causin' havoc and destroyin' our cities. It makes me long for the good ol' days when pooping in the streets be considered safe. Arr, and our colleges be rewardin' students for intimidatin' and assaultin' Jewish lads and lasses, while stealin' has become a profitable venture for those lackin' in skill, just like guest hostin' "The Daily Show". And our government be cheerin' this chaos on, like they be in the audience of "The View" and Joy Behar be tossin' them sardines.
So, can I ask a simple question, me hearties? Is anyone actually runnin' this ship, or be it all part of some grand design? Because nothin' seems to go wrong so perfectly. Take Atlanta, fer example. Two scallywags who set fire to a Wendy's during a riot, they got off easy with a measly fine and probation, no jail time for arson, can ye believe it? And all this happened after a black man got into a scuffle with the police and ended up gettin' shot. It be a right mess, it be.
But don't ye worry, me hearties, there be more tales of woe and injustice. Store owners in George Floyd Square be suin' the city of Minneapolis, claimin' the place be overrun with crime and the police be too scared to respond. And what about them BLM protesters? Charges bein' dropped left and right, and no investigation into the massive fraud committed by BLM itself. It be enough to make ye wonder what our criminal justice system be doin'.
Down in Atlanta, the chief prosecutor be keepin' herself busy with a bogus case against Donald Trump, while our feds can't get enough of Jan 6. Over 1200 people charged, some for just settin' foot on the Capitol steps. And just recently, they picked up a poor lad three years later for misdemeanors related to the Capitol incident. But methinks his real crime be bein' a Trump supporter and a conservative on social media.
So here we be, me hearties, with no one holdin' anyone accountable for the chaos. It be like the teacher won't be back in the room until November 2024, and even then, who knows if they'll be locked away by the administrators. It be a right mess, indeed.