The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast! To help Israel against those scallywag terrorists, the US must do these three things, ye mateys!

2023-10-16

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs be wantin' to create a mighty generational divide betwixt Israel and them Arabs, and drive a cursed wedge betwixt the US and them Gulf states! Here be what the US must do to lend a hand to Israel in their battle 'gainst the rascally scallywags of Hamas, mateys!

In the language of a 17th century pirate, the article humorously discusses the actions and motives of Hamas, a terrorist group operating in Gaza. The author emphasizes the brutality of Hamas, who not only murder innocent Israelis but also flood social media with violent videos, aiming to terrorize their victims and their loved ones. The author points out that Hamas' objective is to make it impossible for Israel not to launch a ground offensive in Gaza.
Israel has been using a strategy called "moving the lawn," which involves responding to sporadic attacks from Hamas with planned and executed kinetic attacks of their own. However, with Hamas' bold attacks into southern Israel, this strategy is no longer viable, and Israel must take action to prevent future attacks from Gaza.
Hamas wants the conflict to be bloody and gruesome, as it serves their twisted public narrative and prevents Sunni Arab states from supporting reconciliation with Israel. The Israeli Defense Forces will be engaged in a battle similar to the one in Fallujah, and the U.S. has a role to play as well.
The U.S. should support the truthful narrative that Israel is at war with brutal terrorists. It should also engage with Israel on the future of Gaza, working with local partners to address legitimate grievances. Additionally, the U.S. should use its influence to deter Iran, Syria, and Hezbollah from opening additional fronts against Israel.
The article suggests that Iran's support for Hamas is crucial, and the U.S. needs to reconsider its Iran policy, including the massive funds Iran receives from oil exports. The Biden administration's decision to prevent Iran from accessing frozen funds as part of a hostage deal is seen as a positive step.

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