Arrr, matey! After that scallywag Trump nearly met Davy Jones, we be learnin’ all sorts o' secrets 'bout Cheatle!
2024-08-06
Avast, mateys! The scallywags o' the 'Gutfeld!' crew be chortlin' over fresh tales of fair Kimberly Cheatle, the former Secret Service lass! Rumors be flyin' like cannonballs, and laughter be ringin' across the deck! Hoist the anchor, and let the gossip sail! Arrr!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with the tale of one Kamala Harris, who be choosing a mate in the form of Minnesota's own Governor Tim Walz. Now, I be tellin' ye, many a soul be askin’, “Who be this landlubber?” Forsooth, he looks like the bloomin’ captain of a law firm, aye, with a face that could sink ships faster than a cannonball!During the ruckus of BLM, Walz claimed the chaos brought forth optimism, as if flames be the great equalizer! Aye, there be naught as equal as a good fire, eh? But why did Kamala choose him, ye ask? Because he be the only scallywag who didn’t laugh and hang up when she called! Meanwhile, Rosie O'Donnell be buying t-shirts galore, bless her heart, for the cause!
And then there’s Kimberly Cheatle, the ex-Secret Service head, who nearly let disaster strike Trump like a cannon broadside! With coke found in the White House, I reckon it be a wonder they can keep a secret, like a pirate’s treasure! Alas, the media be sweepin’ it under the rug quicker than a thief in the night. So, it seems truth be like a ship in a storm—hard to find, but worth the search! Yarrr!