The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Elon and Vivek be needin’ to swab the decks o’ US gold fer this scallywag venture, claimin’ a fortune!

2024-12-04

Arrr, matey! Congress be doubtin’ the U.N. scallywags plunderin’ our gold! So, they’ve ordered an annual tale o’ how we be joinin’ their merry crew o’ nations. Aye, keepin’ a weather eye on our doubloons, they be!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the treasure trove o' gold we be flingin' at the United Nations, a scallywag-filled ship that be siphonin' our doubloons! Every year, the good ol' U.S. of A. be handin' over a whopping $20 billion to these landlubbers. That be includin' over $3 billion in regular loot and a jolly $10 to $15 billion more in voluntary contributions! Aye, the expenses be swellin' faster than a ship on a stormy sea!

Now, blow me down, yer hard-earned coin be payin' for U.N. loungin', tax-free salaries, and the odd International Day o' Neutrality, dreamt up by our pals in Russia and Afghanistan! And let’s not forget those blue-helmeted peacekeepers in southern Lebanon, busy watchin' Hezbollah like a hawk while we foot the bill. It be enough to make a pirate's belly churn!

Congress be raisin' the alarm, callin' for an audit o' this mismanaged treasure, but the U.N. be as slippery as a fish! With DOGE, the Department o' Government Efficiency, we might just clean up this ship and figure out how to spend our gold wisely, lest we find ourselves sinkin' under the weight o' bureaucratic barnacles! Yarrr!

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