Arrr, David Marcus be sayin' Asheville's flower children be cozyin' up to Trump after Biden gave 'em the cold shiver!
2025-01-26
Arrr! Columnist David Marcus be scribblin' from Asheville, sayin' them hearty liberals know that ol' Trump be a more seaworthy matey than his last captain when the stormy winds of Hurricane Helene be blowin'! Aye, who'da thought the scallywag had it in 'im?
Avast ye landlubbers! In yon town of 95,000 souls, ye be speakin' o' a progressive paradise, where even Che Guevara might don the mayor's hat, if he weren't a fella! Now, when the scallywag Trump sails into town a'bringin' federal doubloons after the tempest, well, that be a right peculiar sight!Take Josh, fer instance. He be workin' at a brewery, where the river’s tempests left his establishments in a state o’ disarray. Though no fan of the orange captain, he begrudgingly tipped his hat to the aid brought by the “bad orange man.” “No protests fer us!” he declared. “In dire times, ye look beyond politics!” What a twist, aye?
Then there be Corey, a self-proclaimed anarchist who found his truck crushed by the storms. Yet, after lendin' a hand rebuildin', he found employment amidst the rubble. “Trump makes me miss ol’ George W. Bush!” he cursed, yet still grumbled, “We be needin’ the help!”
So, ye see, the good folk of Asheville ain’t rushin' to swap their tie-dye for MAGA hats, but they ain't ignitin' their purple locks either. Perhaps, just perhaps, the tides be turnin’—a sign that folk may judge a man by his deeds, not his votes. Now that be a treasure worth seekin'!