The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Kamala be hopin' gun-totin' scallywags forget her wild ways, like a parrot forgettin' its squawk!

2024-10-11

Arrr, in the grand game o' politics, the scallywags be twistin' their tales to snatch up votes! But lo and behold, our matey VP Kamala Harris seems to have spun a whole fantastical creature from thin air! Aye, that’s a right jolly trick!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin the yarn of Vice President Kamala Harris, a lass who be changin' her colors like a chameleon on a treasure map! Once seen as a landlubber favorin' socialist winds, she now be claimin’ to be a gun-slingin’, frackin’ moderate, as if she had a magic compass guidin’ her to the polls!

This past week, during a parley with the grand Oprah, Harris swore on the Black Spot that she be a proud gun owner, ready to unleash her trusty Glock upon any scallywag who dares trespass. Aye, she be soundin’ like she’s just stepped off the set of a pirate flick, blusterin’ about her sharpshootin’ skills whilst settin’ sail on a wave of contradictions!

But hold yer horses! This be the same Captain Harris who once signed a parchment against handguns whilst she was District Attorney! Now she be actin’ like the fiercest buccaneer in the seven seas, ready to defend her booty. Aye, it be a curious case indeed, where the winds of politics blow mightily against the very tides she used to chart!

So, as ye raise yer tankards to the absurdity of it all, remember— it’s all in the name of electioneering, where even the fiercest of pirates might trade their cutlass for a campaign promise!

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