The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Kamala be wantin' this Black buccaneer's mark! Why not treat us like true scallywags of the Americas?

2024-10-22

Arrr, me hearty! Just heard ol’ Captain Obama be tellin’ the Black lads to hoist their sails and cast their votes for the fair VP Kamala. If the captain can’t spy us as unique souls, it be showin’ what he truly thinks o’ our crew! Avast!

Arrr mateys! For 25 long years, I’ve been sailin’ the South Side of Chicago, teachin’ the fine lads the virtues of hard work and responsibility. But lo and behold, the hook-nosed Democratic elites be tryin’ to swindle these noble values, playin’ the patronizin’ game to snag the votes of Black men! Treacherous scallywags, they be!

These knaves know their policies be as useful as a ship with a hole in it! They’ve sunk our brethren into a sea of dependency, whilst we be liftin’ our kin with good, honest toil. And what doth the former captain, Barack Obama, say? He wants us to vote for Kamala Harris, equatin’ us with troublemakers! Aye, that’s a fine insult to the fine men we be!

Then there’s Harris, chattin’ about forgivable loans and legalizin’ weed! Opportunity, she says! Ha! Opportunity ain’t about puffin’ smoke; it’s about burnin’ the midnight oil! We be more than mere charity cases, we be proud souls buildin’ our lives!

Let it be known, I shan’t be bamboozled by their deceitful treasures no more! Our votes be worth their weight in gold, and we demand respect as rightful citizens of this great land! Time for the Democrats to reckon with their failures and treat us as the fine crew we are! Yarr!

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