"Arrr, Gordon Sondland be sayin’ he misjudged the Cap’n Trump, and the landlubbers be all in a tizzy!"
2024-10-31
Arrr, matey! The Democrats be launchin' a cunning raid on our grand two-party ship, plunderin' policies that’ll sink our treasure chests, tarnish our fine name, and leave our families in a right pickle! Avast, we be needin' to batten down the hatches, or we'll be walkin' the plank!
Avast ye landlubbers! Methinks America be sailin' into stormy seas after the dark day of January 6th. I, a humble servant of the Trump crew, did withdraw me support, but alas, four years later, I be back on deck! Yarr, the Biden-Harris crew be weakening us—our treasure, our values, all tossed overboard! So here’s the deal, we be needin’ Captain Trump back at the helm!Now, I’ve been parleyin’ me change of heart with the likes of MSNBC and CNN. But the press, bless their scallywag hearts, be more worried about me loyalty to the Republican jolly roger than hearin’ my reasons. If Harris can change her mind on border policies, why can’t I? I ain't sayin' what happened on January 6th be excusable, but our ship still sailed on, mates!
Rumors be flyin' that Trump be offerin’ me gold or blackmail, but nay! Me moral compass be pointin' true north. Our lass Harris be leanin’ toward policies that’d sink our ship further. She’d have us packin' the Supreme Court and givin' away our hard-earned doubloons. I fear the tides be turnin’ against us under her reign! So, with all of Trump’s quirkiness, he still be the best captain for these treacherous waters. There be no other choice, me hearties!