The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, that scallywag Kamala be dodgin’ a charity bash like a landlubber steers clear of the plank!

2024-10-18

Arrr, me hearties! Kamala Harris stirred the pot by dodgin' a Catholic shindig, causin' quite the ruckus! The last scallywag to make such a blunder was ol' Walter Mondale—aye, that be four decades past! Methinks she be walkin' a plank of trouble!

Arrr, gather ye round, me hearties! In the fair town o' Wisconsin, Vice President Kamala Harris was off campaignin', while former Captain o' the White House, Donald J. Trump, took to the stage at the grand Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner in the bustling port of New York City. Hosted by the esteemed Timothy Cardinal Dolan and jested upon by the merry Jim Gaffigan, the event bequeathed a king's ransom o' $7.3 million to aid the poor and needy folk of New York!

Trump regaled the crowd, reminiscin' about his youthful escapades with his father, while Harris, in a rather peculiar move, sent a pre-recorded missive instead of showin' her face. Aye, she be the first to shirk this noble gathering since ol' Walter Mondale! Critics be raisin' the Jolly Roger, claimin' her priorities be more aligned with raucous podcasts than lendin' a hand to the less fortunate.

Yarrr, the Alfred E. Smith Foundation be a beacon since '46, raisin' gold to bolster Catholic charities. With a fine tradition of uniting political foes for a common cause, it seems Harris's absence be a tellin' sign of her disregard for them she ought to support. If only she knew, mateys, that such a banquet be more than just a feast; it be a testament to goodwill! Arrr!

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