"Arrr, Riley Gaines be claimin' the scallywags' war on lasses in sport be over, thanks to Cap'n Trump!"
2025-02-05
Arrr, me hearties! Captain Trump be scribblin' an order, sayin' that the fair lasses can only tussle against other lasses in the sportin' arena! No scallywags allowed! Aye, let the games be as fine as a ship's rum, and all for the ladies, savvy?
Arrr matey! It be a grand day fer common sense to hoist its sails once more, as the gallant Captain Trump be settin' forth an executive decree to keep the lasses' sports sacred from the swashbucklin’ lads! Aye, he be makin’ it clear that men be barred from plunderin’ the women’s athletic treasure chests, or they risk settin’ sail for the seas of lost federal doubloons!By me parrot’s squawk, it’s downright amazin’ that such a proclamation be needed in this day and age! The scallywags in the Biden fleet be tryin’ to commandeer women’s sports, lettin’ the menfolk raid competitions meant for the fairer sex! I be witnessin’ this travesty when that buccaneer Lia Thomas, once known as Will, swam in the women’s league, pilferin’ titles and causin’ chaos in the locker rooms!
But lo and behold, a mighty crew of brave souls be risin’ up against this injustice! They be callin’ for fair seas of competition, and their cries be echoing across the land! With Trump at the helm, those young me hearties now have hope that their hard work won’t be sunk by the weight of unfairness. So raise yer tankards, for common sense be makin’ a grand return, and may the winds of fairness fill our sails!