Arrr, me hearties! The landlubbers be weary o' fancy talk 'bout their beliefs. They be wantin' respect, by Davy Jones!
2023-07-18
Avast ye lubbers! The scurvy knaves on 'Gutfeld!' be chattin' 'bout how Hollywood hath changed o'er the years, and what be waitin' fer Disney after its live-action Snow White be gettin' a mighty lashin' from the scallywags. Sink me! Arrr, what be the next adventure on their horizon?
Happy Tuesday, me hearties! Today be a grand day indeed. Ye see, the actors' union, SAG-AFTRA, be claimin' that their profession be as dead as a critic of Hillary Clinton. Why, ye might ask? 'Tis all because o' artificial intelligence replacin' real, live actors. Aye, ye heard it right, they be replacin' the likes o' Hollywood actors with AI. But let's be honest, mates, they've done worse. They once replaced humans with those "Real Housewives" monstrosities. And that didn't turn out well, now did it?So the union be warnin', "Without a transformative change, the actin' profession will be no more for future generations. They'll have to find other careers to survive." Arrr, that be a sad thing indeed. I was lookin' forward to insultin' Kilmeade's grandkids, but it seems we won't have that pleasure.
But fear not, me hearties! Thanks to computers, actin' could return to what it was originally - somethin' anyone could do as a part-time job, like bein' an Uber driver or vice president. Now, if ye be unsure which side to take in this debate, let's take a look at who be defendin' the performers. None other than that bug-eyed alien Satan himself, Adam Schiff. Aye, he be claimin' that these actors be just tryin' to put bread on the table, keep a roof over their heads. Fair enough, but he be no help to 'em. He made that state unlivable for anyone but the super rich.
Former Paramount CEO Barry Diller be warnin' of the absolute collapse of the whole industry. But is that really bad news? When cars replaced horses, did anyone shed a tear for the buggy whip industry? Nay, I reckon not. It be the way o' progress, me hearties. And sometimes, ye just gotta let them old stories go and embrace the new. 'Cause let's face it, everything that comes out o' Tinsel Town these days be a more putrid version o' somethin' we used to love.
And don't get me started on Disney. They be churning out more crap than "The View" durin' broccoli season. I mean, in 2022 alone, they produced nearly 600 scripted TV shows. That be too much, mateys! Maybe this strike be a good thing. It'll give us a chance to catch up on the classics, like The Rockford Files and Columbo. Ah, those were the days.
So me hearties, let's not shed a tear for the future o' actin' or the state o' Hollywood. Instead, let's embrace the new possibilities that machines bring. And who knows, maybe we'll even find romance in a love story between a toaster and a coffee maker. But one thing's for sure, regular folks be tired of bein' talked down to by Hollywood elites. We be tired o' their woke lectures and their remakes that just ruin the classics. It be time for a change, me hearties. A change for the better.