The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Ahoy, mateys! Mark Penn be spillin' 8 jolly nuggets fer them Democrats and that scallywag Trump!"

2024-11-13

Arrr matey! Each day on the high seas of the news, Trump be tossed like a bilge rat, called madder than a scallywag, while Harris be hailed like a fair wind, preachin’ unity like a parrot squawkin’ sweet nothings! A right jolly jest, it be!

Ahoy me hearties! Gather 'round, fer this election be a tale of lessons learned, or be it a tale of deaf ears among the scallywags in power! A mere 25% of the landlubbers be callin' themselves liberal, while a hearty 75% lean toward the moderate and conservative seas. The tides have turned, tossin' out progressive DAs and fancy rankin' votes, with many a moderate and conservative sayin', "No more!"

Trump be sailin' with the working and middle-class crew, while Harris snagged only the lowest and highest earners, like fish in a net. The common folk be feelin' the pinch under Biden’s watch, with inflation makin' their bellies rumble as wages lag behind. Meanwhile, the rich be playin' politics with climate change and such, unaware of the real struggles of the common man.

Harris be tryin’ to rally the women and Black lads with identity politics, while Trump be castin' a broader net, speakin' of issues that matter to all. Alas, Harris and her crew be outta touch, prancin' with Hollywood endorsements that do little to fill the coffers of the everyday sailor. The young lads be tricky too, sneakin' votes under their partners' noses! So, heed these lessons well, ye politicians, or face the wrath of the voters come the next port of call!

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