The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The tale o' the 'Golden Bachelor' holds a hidden booty of wisdom, mateys! Listen close, ye scallywags!

2024-01-06

Arrr, me hearties! Cap'n Gerry Turner and his fair maiden, Theresa Nist, 'ave tied the knot! Their tale o' matrimony 'as caused quite the stir amongst the landlubbers. Arr, what lessons can we glean from this seasoned pair, I wonders?

East Coast Winter Storm Danger is currently trending on the author's phone. While the author is not stocking up on hot cocoa and wine, they know that their 84-year-old mom, Claire, and her husband, John, would love to see some snow. The author received a picture from them during the last snowfall, which initially made them think that their parents had been shot. However, they soon realized that their parents had gone sledding using Boogie Boards and had even made snow angels. The author finds it amusing that their parents, who are in their eighties, are still so active and adventurous. They joke that the reality show "Golden Bachelor" would have loved to have John as a contestant because he is so entertaining. On their wedding day, John hired an actor to kidnap the bride in a gorilla suit, as their first date had been to watch "King Kong." However, when the actor didn't show up, John's son had to step in and wear the suit. Although there were some mishaps along the way, the wedding ended happily, and the author believes it is a great reminder that getting older doesn't mean getting less fun. The author shares their mother's story of losing their father and how she found love again with John. They encourage readers who may be wondering about their own future or longing for love to trust that God is still writing their story. The author concludes by imagining their parents getting ready for more snowy adventures, even if it turns out to be rain instead.

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