"Ahoy, mateys! The Congress scallywags be needin' a treasure map for fresh doubloons, lest they face the Kraken!"
2025-01-30
Arrr, matey! The treasure map o' Captain Trump be laden with gold, but beware! Ye can't be plunderin' the coffers without fillin' 'em first! That ship o' deficit be leakin' faster than a drunken sailor at sea! Aye, we need a plan or we be sunk!
Ahoy mateys! The Congress be searchin’ fer new doubloons to fill their coffers and set sail on a grand budget adventure, lest they drown in a sea of red ink! With the national debt loom’n over $36 trillion, the need be dire for new gold to pay off those pesky interest payments. If they don’t haul in some treasure soon, we might find ourselves plunderin’ past the $40 trillion mark by the end of the captain’s term!Now, I be hearin’ four jolly ideas to fill those sails with wind. First off, let’s tax them retirement treasures, savvy? A one-time flat tax on 401(k)s could bring in a bountiful haul! Next, we’ve got land and spectrum rights, ripe fer auctionin’—let’s sell ‘em off like old ship’s cargo!
Thirdly, let’s slap some taxes on those “sinful” pleasures like marijuana and online gambling! If they’re gonna play with fire, they might as well pay the piper. Lastly, trim that federal crew by 10 percent—if the ship’s lean, it’ll sail smoother, aye! So raise the Jolly Roger, Congress, ‘cause it be time to get creative and fill those treasure chests without raisin’ income taxes!