The Booty Report

Ahoy! Mornin’ Glory, mateys! A tempest brews in the White House press crew! Change be a-comin’ like a rogue wave!

2025-02-27

Arrr, the legacy scallywags be squabblin' fer the helm o' the White House press crew! The scribblers be fightin' tooth and nail to pick who gets to hurl questions at the cap’n of the ship. Aye, 'tis high time for a grand mutiny!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of Eugene Daniels, the captain of the White House Correspondents Association (WHCA), who be makin' waves with his grand proclamations! On the 25th of February, the scallywag declared that the White House be usin' its own compass to pick the reporters sailin' alongside the president, swappin' the old guard for a crew of their own! Aye, he cried, "In a free land, leaders shan't choose their own press scallywags!"

Yet, what be this nonsense of “professional standards” he speaks of, whilst jumpin' from a gossip sheet to a cable ship that be sinkin' faster than a lead cannonball? The WHCA, founded in 1914, be clingin' to outdated practices like barnacles on a ship's hull! Daniels' whinin' be naught but the lament of a guild feelin' the icy grip of change, as the winds of “new media” blow fierce and free!

So, I say let the good ship's press room be open to all! Let the reporters of every ilk board the vessel, and may the media seas be navigated fairly, much like a pirate’s treasure hunt! For in the end, journalism be a craft for all hands, not just the elite few! Aye, it's time to hoist the sails of diversity in news and chart a course for honesty and fairness! Yarrr!

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