Yarrr, me be a fearsome lass who battled fierce, raisin' me salty sons. Me eyes be leakin' joy and tears, arrr!
2023-08-19
Yarr! Me be a hearty matey who sailed the seas of parenthood, guidin' me young lads down the path. Me heart be overflowin' with joy and tears, for me firstborn be settin' sail to the higher learnin' seas. Proud as a pirate treasure, I be!
I thought I was prepared to say goodbye to my firstborn as he headed off to college. Throughout his senior year, I collected kisses, asking for extra ones whenever he passed through the kitchen or returned from practice. But now, three days after dropping him off at his dorm, my face has stayed wet with tears. I wasn't ready for this feeling. It's a strange mix of excitement, grief, happiness, loss, and pride. I'm grateful that he chose a good college, but I will deeply miss his daily presence. The texts, the soundbites about his day, the relief of knowing he's home safely, and his nightly "I love you mama" will be greatly missed.But I know that I left it all on the field as his mom. I played the game with my whole heart, even though I made mistakes along the way. My identity isn't tied up in being his mom; it's in being an unconditionally loved child of God. I also know that my successes or failures as a mom don't determine who my child becomes. God's sovereignty over his life is greater than my significance in it. And I'm not alone in this journey; there were many others who played a role in shaping him. God was our coach, and I entrusted the outcome to Him.
While it may be difficult now, I believe that releasing my son and watching him navigate young adulthood will ultimately strengthen our relationship. And as I grieve the loss of his daily presence, I still have three boys at home whom I can leave it all on the field with.