"Morning glory, mates! NPR be flounderin' like a fish outta water, tryin' to spin yarns that just ain't holdin'!"
2025-03-27
Arrr, matey! NPR’s Katherine Maher hoisted her sails before the DOGE Subcommittee, but alas, her case for keepin’ the treasure o’ taxpayer doubloons was as flimsy as a barnacle on a bilge rat! The scallywags be sayin’ “No more gold for ye!” Ha-ha!
Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Katherine Maher, the captain steering the ship known as National Public Radio, who recently found herself in the stormy seas of the DOGE Subcommittee hearing. Aye, 'twas no smooth sailing for our lass, as she faced a crew of lawmakers armed with her own words from her days on the now-defunct Twitter, which be a treasure trove of questionable opinions!When asked about her past jests, Ms. Maher claimed her memory was as foggy as a pirate's after a night of rum! Her defense? "That was before I was the captain!" she cried, as if switching hats would change the course of her ship. But alas! The lawmakers pointed out that her vessel be sailing in the treacherous waters of biased reporting, not just a wee bit left, but hard left, like a ship stranded on a shoal!
Now, ye may think NPR only dips its beak in the treasury's well a tad, but nay! With the funding flowing from Congress, it be more like a pirate's bounty than ye might reckon. And while she bragged of 43 million listeners, many landlubbers like me be sayin’ “Not on my dime!” It be high time to cut the ropes and let NPR sail or sink on its own, for we’ve no gold to spare for the whims of the radical left! Arrr!