The Booty Report

Ahoy! I be Bob Casey, seekin’ yer precious Pennsylvanian vote fer the Senate—let’s hoist the flag of hilarity!

2024-11-01

Ahoy, mateys! I be Bob Casey, proud captain o’ the Pennsylvanian seas, defendin' me good folk from the scallywags o' corporate greed! I be battlin' for the hearty crew o' workin' families, for we shan't let the greedy bilge rats plunder our treasure! Arrr!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tales of a valiant soul who be fightin’ fer the good folk of Pennsylvania! This here scallywag has been battlin’ for the workers, the younglings, the old salts, and all those in need – unyieldin’ in the face of corporate greed! With a trusty cutlass, he’s slashed costs fer insulin, givin’ the elderly a fair chance at life, and championed healthcare fer veterans who faced the fiery wrath of burn pits!

Not one to shy from a tussle, this fine matey took on the insurance and pill-peddlin’ scoundrels, makin’ sure Medicare can haggle like a true pirate fer lower prices. He’s even saved thousands o’ jobs in the land of steel while battlin’ the dreaded ‘greedflation’ that’s plunderin’ families’ coffers. With a hearty “Yarr!”, he’s takin’ on corporate rogues who be raisin’ prices whilst fillin’ their treasure chests!

But beware the foe, a landlubber named David McCormick, who’s been jet-settin’ from Connecticut while claimin’ to be a Pennsylvanian! Aye, he be investin’ in the very scallywags causin’ trouble with fentanyl! So, cast yer lot wisely, mateys! Vote fer the true champion of the common folk on November 5th, and let’s keep our ship steady on course! Yarrr!

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