"Arrr! Five raucous ways them Democrats be dancin' with the Pythons in their political shenanigans, savvy?"
2024-12-04
Arrr, instead o' raisin' a tankard fer President-elect Trump’s grand win, those scallywag leftists and their parrot-squawkin' scribes be takin’ to their heels like a ship in a storm! They’d rather flee than face the music, savvy? A sight to behold, that!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the left's grand retreat after Trump hoisted his flag of victory! A right calamity it be, for 'tis the worst Electoral College debacle since the days of Bush the Elder. Instead of steeling their spine and chartin’ a course forward, these leftist scallywags be makin' haste to the horizon!With a hearty "Run away!" echoing in their ears, they be abandoning ship from good ol' Twitter, settlin' like barnacles on new shores like Threads and Bluesky. Stars like Alyssa Milano and Captain Mark Hamill be jumpin’ ship, moorin’ their vessels in safer waters, complainin' about the "toxic" seas of free speech!
But that ain't all, ye swabs! The ratings for that far-left vessel, MSNBC, be plungin’ faster than a cannonball! Viewers be fleein’ faster than a rat from a sinking ship, and even Rachel Maddow be takin’ a pay cut to keep the crew aboard. Even the mighty Comcast be considerin’ cuttin' ties! Meanwhile, Ellen de Rossi be cruisin' off to Merry Old England, havin' kept her word to abandon ship if Trump sailed to victory.
So harken, me hearties, as ye set sail this election season! The sea be rough, and it seems the left be forever chartin’ courses to nowhere!