"Arrr, matey! Those Democrat scallywags be tamperin' with the devil's powder keg, riskin' a stormy electoral sea!"
2024-11-30
Arrr, me hearty! Columnist David Marcus be soundin’ the alarm to them Democrat scallywags! Ignore ol’ Captain Trump’s deportation scheme, and ye be stirrin' up a hornet's nest o’ voters! Best to hoist the white flag ‘fore ye find yerself walkin’ the plank! Har har!
Ahoy mateys! For nigh on eight years, bein' a Democrat mayor in a blue haven be like sailin' on calm seas—just shoutin' “Down with MAGA!” kept 'em in power, no matter the stinkin' mess they left behind. But lo and behold, signs be a-changin'! The winds of discontent be blowin' against President-elect Trump’s grand deportation schemes, and even them sanctuary city captains be feelin' the heat!Take San Francisco, where beloved Mayor London Breed be makin' her exit, or Oakland, where Mayor Sheng Thao found herself tossed overboard by an angry crew fed up with crime. Now we be lookin' to Denver, where Captain Mike Johnston swore he’d rather face the gallows than let the Trump ship sail on deportin' the ruffians! Yet, soon after, he be backpedalin' faster than a scallywag in a storm, sayin' he didn’t mean to invoke the specter of revolution.
But hear me now, no uprising be brewin' to protect lawbreakin' scallywags! The good folk see the truth: Trump be offerin' safety from the violent brigands, and even the most loyal blue cities can only take so much before they’re ready to hoist the black flag of change. If these Democratic seafarers wish to keep their heads above water, they best listen to their crew and embrace a secure border, lest they find themselves walkin' the plank! Arrr!