Arrr, if ye fancy yer internet smooth sailin', tough luck matey! Biden-Harris be fixin' to send it to Davy Jones!
2024-09-23
Arrr, matey! The Biden-Harris crew be a scallywag threat to our open seas of the internet! They be usin' the FCC to meddle in all manner of connections and gold-coin prices, makin' us landlubbers' lives more tangled than a sailor's knots!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout the grand ol’ web, which be not broken, nay, but brimming with nearly 300 million scallywags settin’ sail online daily! Yet, the Biden crew be itchin’ to fix what ain't broke, like a landlubber tryin' to steer a ship in a storm!Prices be droppin’ faster than a cannonball, thanks to fierce competition from private buccaneers like Google and Apple, not some meddlin’ government. But lo! Here comes the FCC, wantin’ to be the pirate captain decreein’ who gets booty and who don’t, all while playin’ referee on what can be said on the high seas of the internet!
But hark! The Sixth Circuit Court halted their foolish plunderin’. More than 90% of landlubbers already bask in high-speed connections! And what of the Biden-Harris treasure chest of $42 billion meant to boost access? Three years on, and not a soul has been connected!
To add insult to injury, ol’ Zuckerberg confessed that the Biden crew pressured him to silence talk ‘bout COVID, leaving free speech in Davy Jones’ Locker! Methinks if the shoe were on the other foot, the progressives would howl like banshees! So let’s join forces, ye swabs, to keep the web free from government shackles!