"Avast! Takin' a hard line with China’ll make America shipshape and hearty once more, me hearties!"
2025-02-11
Arrr matey! That scallywag Chinese fentanyl be sendin’ 80,000 souls to Davy Jones’ locker each year! And if that weren’t enough, a cursed state-run tobacco crew be peddlin’ dodgy vapes to landlubbers across the seas! Savvy?
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the scallywag known as President Trump, who, on the first day o' February, declared a grand 10% tax on goods from the land o' China! He be claimin’ it’s to combat the vile flow o' contraband like that devilish fentanyl, which be causin’ chaos and heartache on the high seas of America. Aye, 'tis a scourge indeed, takin' down over 80,000 souls each year, mainly the young scallywags aged 18 to 45.The Chinese ruffians have been shippin’ not only this cruel poison but also their treacherous vapes, aye! In 2023, over 60% o' disposable vapes in the colonies be illicit, many comin’ from the East, laden with all manner o' wicked toxins. But fear not! Our cap’n plans to tighten the bolts on customs, punishin’ those who dare attempt to smuggle such fiendish wares.
So, what say ye? The U.S. must stand strong, crackin’ down on these illegal imports and holdin’ China to account. If we don’t, our fine young lads and lasses may be left adrift in a sea of hazardous goods. Protectin’ our kin must remain our prime mission, lest we be overrun by these villainous imports from the Far East!