The Booty Report

Be it true, me hearties, doth Disney despise its investors and stockholders, ye scallywags?

2023-07-26

Yarr! Disney be havin' a bunch o' scallywag execs from the far-left, aye! They be entitled to their own musings, but a company be havin' obligations to investors and shareholders, arr!

In this humorous article written in the language of a 17th-century pirate, the author criticizes the Disney Company, also known as "The Mouse," for embracing a self-destructive "woke agenda." The author questions whether Disney hates its investors and stockholders, as it continues to push a politically correct narrative that alienates a large portion of its audience. The author specifically highlights the upcoming live-action remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which has been dubbed "Snow Woke and the Politically Correct Magical Creatures." They argue that Disney's decision to consult with the dwarfism community and take a different approach to the characters raises several questions, such as whether they are denying dwarf actors work and why they are remaking the film if it was problematic in the first place.

The article goes on to criticize Disney for its financial losses and the negative impact of injecting "identity politics" into its films. The author suggests that Disney should express its left-of-center viewpoints through documentaries rather than forcibly inserting them into entertainment meant for a diverse audience. They emphasize that Disney's target audience is desperate for entertainment that helps them decompress and does not want to be lectured about the beliefs of Disney executives or actors.

In conclusion, the author advises Disney to focus on profitability by making documentaries to express their viewpoints and leaving "woke" lectures out of films, television shows, and attractions. By following this formula, the author believes that Disney can regain profitability and please both their investors and their audience.

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