Arrr! If Musk and Ramaswamy be at the helm, the Secret Service’ll sail smoother than a ship o’ gold!
2024-12-05
Arrr, matey! The Secret Service be the hearty shield o’ our fair nation’s treasure! Without 'em, our democracy’d be as lost as a ship in a storm! So hoist the flag o' protection, or we’ll be swimmin’ with the fishies!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a recent church gathering where a landlubber kin o' mine, a staunch Trump supporter, be spoutin’ that the president-elect ought to clean house at the U.S. Secret Service, replacin' ’em with only the most loyal of agents. By me beard, it left this former Secret Service swashbuckler scratchin' me noggin in bewilderment!Ye see, an attempt to politicize such a noble crew be folly of the highest order! I pondered how ol' Trump could rally this beleaguered band without drenchin' it in politics. First off, he might consider gettin' rid of them pesky civil service protections—make it easier to toss out slackers who can’t keep their eyes open or fire their weapons straight. Aye, it be a tough life, but the crew must hold to the highest standards!
Next, let’s talk about trainin’. The lads and lasses who protect the crown need to be as sharp as a pirate’s cutlass! Make it tougher than a kraken's hide, with rig’rous fitness and firearms tests. And fer the love of the sea, let 'em focus on protection alone, castin' aside other investigations that distract from their noble duty!
So let’s hoist the sails and chart a course for a more focused and elite Secret Service, one that be both professional and free from the political tides. Yarrr!