The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr! Bragg be wishin' Stormy Daniels would rescue Trump, but alas, a twist o' fate befallen upon 'em. Aye!

2024-05-08

Arrr, the foolishness of DA Alvin Bragg be as clear as a spyglass on a calm sea when that infamous wench, Stormy Daniels, paraded herself to the witness stand on Tuesday. Aye, 'twas a sight to behold, me hearties!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, the Manhattan criminal trial of former President Donald Trump took a comical turn when Stormy Daniels, the ex-porn star, graced the witness stand. Known not for her real name, Stephanie Clifford, but for her exploits in adult erotica, Daniels regaled the court with tales of her profession. She claimed to have had a liaison with Trump 18 years ago, which he denies. Yet, she pocketed a hefty sum from him when he ran for president, only to later demand more money and make threats. Daniels profited off her association with Trump, even titling her strip club appearances "Make America Horny Again." However, her credibility was called into question as she peddled inconsistent narratives and admitted to faking her own signature.Despite Daniels' motives to smear Trump, her testimony did not contribute to the charges against him. The indictment accuses Trump of falsifying business records, but there was no wrongdoing in the legal payments made. Daniels' presence was merely a ploy by prosecutors to tarnish Trump's reputation with irrelevant details. The judge's allowance of inflammatory testimony sparked calls for a mistrial, as the trial delved into a smutty story devoid of criminal activity. Bragg's attempt to besmirch a political foe with baseless accusations has tainted the trial with prejudicial distractions.This farcical trial, lacking in evidence of criminality by Trump, serves as a mockery of justice and due process. Americans should be appalled by this abuse of the legal system and the rule of law.

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