"Arrr, matey! The Southeast be swimmin’, the Middle East burnin’, and ports locked tighter than a mermaid’s kiss! Where be Captain Biden?"
2024-10-02
Arrr, matey! America be in a right pickle—from the sands o’ the Middle East to the flooded coasts o’ the Southeast! While the good ship America be takin’ on water, ol’ Captain Biden be snoozin’ at the helm. Avast, wake him up, or we be sunk!
Ahoy, mateys! The skies be gray and the winds be blowin’ as ol’ Captain Joe Biden stumbles through the stormy seas of leadership like a drunken sailor! "It’s rainin’, it’s pourin’, and the ol' man be snorin’," echoes through the halls of the White House, where our captain’s sense of direction seems as lost as a ship without a compass.On the mornin’ of October 2, our beleaguered captain plans to sail to the wreckage left by Hurricane Helene, though I wager he be needin’ his beauty sleep! Meanwhile, war rages in the Middle East, with Iran firin’ off missiles like a cannon crew gone mad, while Biden warns them with a half-hearted "Don’t!" But lo and behold, our crew’s military strength turns that battle into but a Nerf gun skirmish!
And what’s this? The Longshoremen be strikin’ from Maine to Texas, battlin’ over goods like batteries and bananas! In days of yore, Biden would’ve quelled such mutiny faster than a parrot can squawk! Alas, now he be more absent than a ghost ship!
With no captain at the helm and the crew squabblin’ among themselves, we be adrift in treacherous waters. Until January, we best hold on tight and pray for a fair wind, lest our ship of state capsizes in these turbulent tides!