Ahoy, matey! 'Tis I, Tim Sheehy, seekin' Montana's treasure o' votes fer the Senate! Arrr!
2024-10-30
Arrr, mateys! America be needin’ fresh captains who ken the ways of service, sacrifice, and keepin’ their word! If we don’t steer this ship true, we be sinkin’ faster than a barrel o’ grog in a storm! Avast, let’s hoist the sails and save our dear land!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of a valiant couple, who bravely sailed the treacherous seas of war, fightin' for liberty and freedom 'neath the flag of old glory! Aye, me good wife served as a U.S. Marine Corps officer while I, the noble Navy SEAL, led a hearty crew through battles fierce and perilous!We faced cannon fire, dodged the enemy's tricks, and lost good shipmates along the way—but by thunder, we were honored to defend our shores! Yet, the tides turned when the scallywags Biden and Harris mishandled the Afghanistan withdrawal, wash’n away our sacrifices like stolen booty!
Now, I find meself at a crossroads, dippin' me toe into the murky waters of politics to save our great nation. I be no friend to lobbyists or the greedy D.C. swamp! I’m a simple sailor with a heart for Montana, and I plan to bring back good ol’ common sense. Safe streets, cheap grog—I mean gas—and a firm hand on the kraken's leash, that’s what we need!
So, lend me yer ear, good folks of Montana! Let’s shiver the timbers of career politicians and take back our ship! Vote for me, and together we’ll chart a course for a brighter future, free from the clutches of the radical pro-Kamala crew! Arrr!