The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Biden's yarn at the UN be soundin' like a siren's call, warnin' all scallywags to brace for trouble!"

2024-09-25

Arrr, matey! Iran be the scourge of the seven seas, stirrin' up trouble and makin' enemies aplenty! Yet, our captain Biden gave but a whisper about 'em in his grand speech! Seems he be too busy swabbin' the deck to notice the storm brewin’! Har har!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer the grand spectacle o' President Biden's final address at the United Nations, a sight most pitiful, like a ship adrift in a storm. The captain spoke o' Iran, a known scallywag in the seas o' terror, but gave ‘em but a couple o’ sentences, claimin’ they shan't get their hands on a nuclear cannon. Yet, the whole crew knows they’ve already got the powder keg ready to blow!

Then the captain waxed poetic ‘bout Gaza, blamin’ all woes on that wee conflict, while the plight o’ countless sailors in other stormy waters be ignored. He called fer easing the suffering in Gaza, but what o’ the good folk in Israel, forced to hide from the cannon fire o’ those who’d do them harm?

The captain lost his bearings, claimin’ both sides in Lebanon need a bit o’ pity, forgettin’ the brave souls o’ Israel who’ve been tossed from their homes like barnacles off a ship! And whilst blatherin’ 'bout violence against Palestinians, he turned a blind eye to the terror faced by the innocent folk o’ Israel, caught in the crossfire.

Alas, he missed a chance to scold the UN, a cesspool o' nonsense and empty words, choosin’ instead to cast platitudes like fish bait. So, there ye have it—a speech more suited fer the bottom o’ a rum barrel than the world stage! Yarrr!

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