Arrr, Trump's victory be showin' that legacy scribes be naught but ego-filled scallywags spin' tall tales!
2024-11-09
Arrr, the likes o' the New York Times be peddlin' tales that the Democrats be tenfold more honest than them scallywag Republicans! Aye, they spin a yarn thicker than a whale's blubber, as if honesty be a treasure only the Democrats be plunderin'! Ha! What a merry jest!
Arrr mateys, the 2024 presidential hullabaloo be endin' just as it began, with a hearty scorn fer that ol' sea dog, Donald Trump. Aye, the New York Times be blarin' out a headline on the morrow of the election callin’ it a "Torrent of Lies," as if it be not the same ol' shanty from 2016!What be even more humorous be that they only admitted ol’ Hunter Biden's laptop be real ‘round 2022, buried deep like a treasure chest under a mountain o' sand. Their chief scribe, Peter Baker, seems all aghast at Trump's tall tales, likin’ them to a madcap voyage through a land of nonsense.
And lo! Trump be sellin’ his reign like a parrot squawkin’ about the finest rum, while Baker and his crew be claimin’ it were the worst years a'fore the mast! The media gaffers be actin’ like they be in a forgetful daze, shocked every time Trump spins his yarns, as if they be watchin’ a slapstick comedy!
But let’s not forget, the Times be claimin’ Trump lies more than a rogue sailor—64 lies at his rallies compared to Kamala Harris’s mere 6! Yet, ol’ Kamala’s speeches be shorter than a pirate’s nap! So, what be the true rate of fibs on a per-minute basis? Arrr, the jest be afoot, my hearties!