The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Kamala's jolly sails be droopin', her winds o’ fortune be losin’ their hearty blow!

2024-09-02

Arrr, the winds be blowin’ fierce, matey! Polls be as tight as a ship’s sail, yet Columnist David Marcus be spottin’ a telltale sign—Kamala Harris be slackin’ her sails, losin’ her swagger on the high seas of politics! Avast, what a jolly sight!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as we embark on a tale o' political shenanigans on the high seas of polling! This past weekend, the Democrats be settin' sail on a swell breeze, with an ABC/Ipsos survey claimin' Kamala Harris be four points ahead of the salty Donald Trump. But hold yer horses! The winds be fickle, for Rasmussen claims Trump be two points up! Arrr, who’s tellin' the truth, ye ask? It seems Harris’ momentum be as elusive as a treasure map, gone for longer than a landlubber's memory!

Just a fortnight ago, in the heart o' San Francisco, the winds began to shift. Questions be swirling like a storm about what the good lady Harris stands for! The crew at the Democratic National Convention seemed as lost as sailors in a fog when asked about her policies. It be like offerin’ a parrot a cracker and watchin’ it stare blankly! The masses, even those pledged to her, be likin’ to scratch off a lottery ticket, hopin' for a prize but uncertain of what they’d win!

Now, me hearties, Harris be needin’ to step up her game, for she be lackin' the political chops to sail through rough waters. With each passing day, the voters be demandin’ answers, and her reluctance to engage be sinkin’ her ship! As autumn leaves begin to fall, we find the race be tightly tied, and our candidates be needin’ a new plan if they wish to keep the wind in their sails!

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