The Booty Report

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The scurvy dogs of the leftist media be tryin' to hide Biden's scandals, but they shan't escape our watchful eye!

2023-09-01

Arr, ye scurvy dogs of the media claim to be informin' the masses, but ye be a bunch of landlubber leftists! Ye be buryin' Biden's scandals like a treasure ye hope to keep. But mark me words, ye won't be escapin' the wrath of the people!

The language used in this passage is intended to mimic the style and tone of a 17th century pirate. The author accuses the leftist media, including NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times, of conspiring to ignore evidence of President Joe Biden's corruption. They claim that an internal FBI document provides convincing evidence that Joe Biden and his son Hunter extorted $5 million each from a Ukrainian oil company. The document outlines a $10 million bribe in which the vice president would threaten to withhold financial aid to Ukraine unless they fired a senior prosecutor investigating Burisma's corruption.

The author criticizes the media for their selective reporting, accusing them of spreading a deceptive message and covering up any reports that harm their narrative. They argue that the media's primary mission is to ensure Joe Biden's reelection rather than inform the public or hold the powerful accountable. The author also mentions other allegations of bribery and pay-to-play schemes involving Russia, Kazakhstan, Romania, and China.

The passage highlights the disparity in media coverage between Biden and Trump, with the author claiming that the networks spent significantly more time covering Trump's indictment than the Biden family's scandals. They accuse the media of a cover-up and cite evidence of bank transactions linking Russian and Kazakhstani oligarchs to Hunter Biden.

The author suggests that the media's refusal to report on the Biden bribery scandal and their focus on Trump's indictment constitutes election tampering and a threat to democracy. They call for an impeachment inquiry into Biden and for the heads of ABC News, CBS News, and NBC News to answer for their behavior.

In conclusion, the passage employs a humorous and exaggerated pirate-like language to criticize the media's alleged conspiracy to ignore evidence of Biden's corruption and manipulate the election in his favor.

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