"Avast ye! Here be seven wild tales from the briefest month, fit to shiver yer timbers and tickle yer belly!"
2025-02-26
Arrr, matey! February be claimin’ to be the briefest of months, but lo and behold! For me scallywag pals in the press, no month be short while Cap’n Trump be at the helm! It’s like tryin’ to catch a fish with bare hands, I tell ye!
Ahoy, mateys! February be a wee month, but under the reign of Cap'n Trump, it felt like a grand ol’ saga! With the aid of the DOGE captain, Elon Musk, the month was a tempest of firin’ and cuttin’ that would make any sea dog dizzy. Impeachment chatter filled the sails like a stiff wind, makin' headlines fly like cannonballs!Me hearties on the far left seem as lost as a ship in a foggy night. Wisconsin’s own Gov. Tony Evers be twistin’ words like a pretzel, callin’ mothers “inseminated persons.” Aye, the state o’ cheese be in strange waters! Not even the musical seas be free from madness, as Ye (formerly Kanye) continues to stir the pot o’ controversy, and “Saturday Night Live” bosses claim their show be “nonpartisan”—a laugh worthy of the high seas!
But let’s not forget the bizarre tales of the month, like ol’ Biden returnin’ to the lecture circuit with a hearty payday, while Kamala be hopin’ for her own Netflix treasure. And as for the James Bond franchise, it seems the next 007 might just be sportin’ a skirt! PETA be wantin’ to swap out Phil the Groundhog for a cake—aye, talk about a recipe for folly!
So hoist the flags and prepare for a wild ride, for February be a month o’ madness worthy of a pirate's tale!