The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Tim Walz be walkin' the plank, losin' $250 million in a school lunch scallywag scheme! Blimey!

2024-09-23

Arrr, before Cap’n Walz sets sail fer the vice presidency, let’s parley 'bout that grand school lunch scallywagery! A whopping $250 million sunk, with five landlubbers sent to Davy Jones’ locker for their treachery! Avast, what a feast of folly!

Arrr matey! Gather 'round fer a tale of woe and wickedness in the land of Minnesota, where Captain Walz be governin' with a questionable compass! The Democrat crew be workin' hard to spin a yarn 'bout their fresh ticket with Vice President Kamala Harris, but the truth be as murky as the depths of Davy Jones' locker.

Despite the ruckus ‘round Walz's embellished military tales and ties to the Chinese, they be changin' the tune, singin' praises fer his school lunch laws. Aye, they be callin' it a noble cause, but let’s not be fooled! This scheme be allowin' rich scallywags to plunder taxpayer treasure whilst they claim to feed the hungry.

In a scandal more nefarious than a pirate’s plot, a band of rogues known as Feeding Our Future swiped a whopping $250 million from the coffers! Walz’s crew turned a blind eye while they pocketed gold coins meant for the wee ones. The Department of Education, bless their hearts, was about as useful as a leaky boat, lettin’ the fraudsters run amok.

So I say, hoist the sails of accountability, for this be a storm brewin'! Let’s not allow the Walz crew to sail off into the sunset without reckonin’ for their misdeeds! Yarrr!

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