The Booty Report

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Arrr, behold the finest 7 Christmas films that ever graced the silver screen, mateys!

2023-12-21

If ye don't lay yer eyes upon a single o' these flicks each year, ye shan't taste the joys o' Christmas, matey. Santa himself won't be wastin' his time givin' ye a speck o' carbon-based power. Ye be doomed to the naughty scroll, arrr!

Park your reindeer, grab some eggnog, and start hanging the lights because it's Christmastime! And you know what that means - it's time for the definitive list of Christmas movies. If you don't watch at least one of these movies every year, you're on the naughty list. Santa won't even give you some carbon-based energy.

But hold on, there are some rules. Just because a movie takes place during Christmas doesn't mean it's a true Christmas movie. Take "Die Hard" for example. Sure, it's a great movie, but it doesn't celebrate the spirit of the holiday. We want movies that make us feel warm and fuzzy inside, not ones that make us watch Hans Gruber fall out of a window.

And let's not forget about the holiday horror flicks and raunchy comedies. We want sleighing, not slaying. A sexed-up, cursing, alcoholic Santa is hardly family-friendly. We need classic, endearing movies that we can watch with our whole family and feel inspired to be nice to our mean relatives.

So, without further ado, here are the movies that made the cut. First up, we have the Christmas classic "Miracle on 34th Street," featuring Edmund Gwenn as the real-life Kris Kringle. Then there's the quintessential Christmas movie, "A Christmas Carol," with various versions to choose from. "Elf" brings us the innocence of Santa Claus mixed with hilarious comedy, while "It's a Wonderful Life" is a heartwarming tale of redemption.

Lastly, we can't forget "White Christmas," a singing, dancing, patriotic love story. And for a wild twist on the classic story, there's "Scrooged," starring Bill Murray as a sleazy TV executive visited by ghosts. And of course, we can't leave out "A Christmas Story," the beloved tale of young Ralphie's quest for a Red Ryder air rifle.

So, gather your loved ones, cozy up by the fire, and enjoy these classic Christmas movies that capture the true spirit of the holiday. And don't forget to leave some cookies out for Santa!

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