Arrr! Cap'n Gutfeld be sayin', today, 'tis the mark ye make on the parchment that counts, not the toil ye put in!
2023-07-25
Arr, me hearties! Gather 'round and hear the merry tales of the "Gutfeld!" crew as they prattle on about the fancy-schmancy Biden administration's quest for diversification. Methinks they be needin' some pirate spirit in their ranks!
Happy Tuesday, me hearties! Back in the day, America was all about meritocracy. You had to work your peg leg off to get ahead. No complaining to H.R. if you weren't happy. It was the best person for the job, most of the time. Arrr!Sure, there were some injustices, but we were a nation of achievers. Look at me, a former Chippendales dancer turned late-night king. Ain't that somethin'?
But times have changed, me hearties. Meritocracy has turned into mediocrity. Now, wherever the Dems have power, it's all about checking the right box. Take the military, for instance. They promote generals like they're casting a commercial. After that disastrous Afghanistan pullout, suggesting that Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin be fired was considered racist. And don't get me started on General Mark Milley and Jake Sullivan. They should have been fired too, but diversity takes precedence.
Speaking of diversity, it's all over the place. Just look at the Texas border. Instead of strong defenses, they're using blow-up pontoons. Balloons, I tell ya! And the person in charge of border security, Alejandro Mayorkas, ain't got much to say. Except when he's lying about whips and illegals. Talk about incompetence!
Even when it comes to nuclear waste disposal, the White House prioritizes diversity over competence. They appointed Sam Brinton, a non-binary thief, as assistant secretary of spent fuel disposition. Can't even trust 'em with a cup of joe, let alone nuclear waste.
And don't get me started on Pete Buttigieg. They made him secretary of transportation, and he took paternity leave right when our supply chain went to Davy Jones' locker. Joy Behar's colon has more order than our airlines these days.
It's not just at the national level. Local politics is filled with questionable choices too, like Stacey Marie Lotten, a trans activist with a criminal past who was endorsed by Beto O'Rourke and Swalwell. Turns out she got busted for child porn. Yarr, what a mess!
And let's not forget about Kamala Harris and her awkward laughter. That combo of Xanax and a banana peel might end up running the show. We're not worried about losing jobs, we're worried about our lives in the hands of these awful choices.
So, me hearties, I propose a simple question: Do ye want excellence or diversity? Because when it comes to important matters, like who operates on yer kid or flies Air Force One, it's a matter of life or death. Savvy?