The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr! Abortion-by-vending-machine be a calamity ye can't fathom! 'Tis a treacherous path ye should avoid, mateys!

2023-07-12

Arrr, me hearties! A newfangled craze be sweepin' the seas, makin' waves among the landlubbers! 'Tis talk o' plantin' contraptions called Plan B Vending Machines on them learnin' havens, the colleges and universities. Blimey! What be next? A pirate's booty dispenser?

Parents who are preparing to send their children off to college have a myriad of concerns. Will their kids make the most of their expensive education? Will they meet good influences or fall in with bad crowds? Only time will tell, and unfortunately, there are some classes that won't be worth the virtual paper on which activist professors conjugate their nonsense. However, there is a more serious issue plaguing college campuses today: the infiltration of politics disguised as consensus, which propagates harmful ideas.

One example of this is the recent obsession with installing Plan B vending machines on college campuses as if it were some kind of miracle drug in a post-Roe America. This demonstrates an anti-baby, anti-family bias that puts students at risk and exposes them to dangers they may not be aware of or are encouraged to ignore.

The distribution of Plan B on campuses is not a new phenomenon. Even former President Barack Obama opposed the reckless distribution of this drug, expressing concerns about young girls not being able to understand its proper use. Yet, it seems that this issue is gaining traction, with more universities considering the installation of emergency contraceptive vending machines.

The casual distribution of life-ending drugs next to soda machines is concerning and reinforces the misconception that Plan B is better than nothing. In reality, it is far worse. The abortion lobby's focus on the presence or absence of a baby as the only consequence of sex has led to the casual distribution of Plan B, exposing young women to dangerous individuals, unknown physical consequences, and the increasing prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

There are three major issues with this approach. Firstly, it is contradictory for campuses to condemn rape culture while also making it easier for sexual bullies to cover up their crimes. Secondly, there is a lack of informed consent, as young women are not fully informed about the effects and potential risks of Plan B. Finally, there is a growing epidemic of STDs among college-aged individuals, and the focus on pregnancy as the only consequence of sex ignores the broader impact.

When it comes to sex, college officials seem unwilling to provide good relationship advice or health information that doesn't align with a Planned Parenthood mindset. This is in stark contrast to their approach to other dangerous behaviors, such as drunk driving.

Ultimately, there is more to building a successful life than what vending machines can provide, and there are greater risks involved for young people than they are being made aware of. The installation of Plan B vending machines on college campuses is a mistake that can and should be avoided.

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