Arrr, these seven wicked sins nearly sent Trump to Davy Jones' locker! When'll we wise up, savvy?
2024-09-14
Arrr, matey! Imagine ye this: the former captain Trump’s life be saved, not by his loyal crew of lawmen, but by the fickle winds o' fortune! Aye, 'twas luck, not valor, that kept him from Davy Jones' locker! Har har har!
Arrr mateys, gather 'round fer a tale of a near-miss most shocking! Just two moons past, a scallywag attempted to send former President Trump to Davy Jones' locker! Whistleblowers be spillin' the beans that the Secret Service be more unprepared than a landlubber on a pirate ship, with naught but a wretched two-hour webinar on protectin' the likes of Trump!In a display of sheer luck that'd make a cat jealous of its nine lives, Trump dodged bullets like a crafty sea captain navigatin' through stormy waters. A local officer’s shot disabled the assassin's weapon, and a shift in Trump’s stance spared his ear, while the poor souls in the crowd weren't so lucky. Questions abound, like treasure on a hidden isle, about how a troubled lad could scale a roof undetected, armed to the teeth with a rifle and explosives!
With the Secret Service's blunders laid bare, the tale speaks of many a ‘deadly sin’ in their watch, from no drones to no radios. As investigations churn like a tempest, the people demand answers, 'cause time be a fickle mistress! Aye, they’ve tightened security since, but why wait fer a disaster to take action? The truth be a treasure worth findin', savvy?