"Arrr, Maine lasses be sufferin' fer the wild whims o' landlubber politicians, savvy?"
2025-02-26
Arrr, me hearties! Captain Trump be threatin' to haul away gold from Maine's scholar ships if them landlubber bureaucrats don’t heed his command and let the lasses battle the lads in sports! A right laugh, I say! What’s next, a parrot in the crow’s nest?
Arrr, gather 'round ye landlubbers, for I be havin' a tale of absurdity from the fair shores of Maine! The education officials there, in a fit of folly, be turnin' their backs on President Trump’s decree preventin' biological lads from joinin' in the fair maidens’ sports. They be raisin’ the Jolly Roger of the Maine Human Rights Act, puttin' it above the well-being of our lassies and the honor of their athletic battles!By defyin' the federal orders, they be sailin' into treacherous waters, threatenin’ the very fabric of fair competition. Just recently, a strappin’ lad who once pole-vaulted with the boys took home first prize in the lassies' league, jumpin’ higher than any fair maiden could muster! These scallywags think it be all in the name of “inclusiveness.” Ha! What utter poppycock!
Trump be threatenin' to cut the coin purses from Maine's public schools if they don’t mend their ways, and with nearly 80% of the good folk backin' him, it seems the winds be shiftin’! Let it be known across the seven seas: boys should not be settin’ sail in the girls’ leagues. It be treachery, and our lassies deserve fair seas in their athletic pursuits!