Avast, me hearties! A bumbling bird flu cure be makin' farmers and eaters walk the plank o' misfortune!
2025-03-12
Avast, me hearty! When we should be fortifying our crew against the avian plague, the scallywags in Trump's fleet be slashing our ranks! Aye, 'tis like sailin’ into a storm with a hole in the hull! Arrr, we be doomed to dance with the birdies!
Ahoy there, mateys! Gather ‘round and lend me yer ears, fer I be spoutin’ tales o’ the dreaded bird flu, a menace plaguein’ the good land o’ America! This foul beak of a virus, hitchin’ rides on our feathered friends, be causin’ chaos in the land o’ agriculture, takin’ down our beloved poultry and dairy beasts! Since the outbreak set sail in 2022, over 162 million birds have met Davy Jones’ locker, and the pesky flu has spread to 24 states like a rogue pirate on a treasure hunt!But alas, the government be actin’ like a ship lost at sea! With cuts to key crew in the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), they be firin’ the very folks who know how to battle this beastie. Egg prices be risin’ faster than a ship in a storm, hittin’ a record high of $7.09 a dozen! And what do we hear from the likes of Secretary Rollins? “Raise yer own chickens!” Aye, that be as useful as a wooden sword in a swordfight!
So, here we be, in a wild tempest of market uncertainty and spiralin’ food prices, and the government’s response be as shaky as a sailor after too much rum! We need a strong captain at the helm to steer us clear of this calamity. Yarrr, let’s hoist the sails and set course for a solution, lest we all end up swimmin’ with the fishes!