The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! GREG GUTFELD be sayin’, only one crew's hidin' their scallywag like Easter eggs on the high seas!"

2024-09-09

Arrr! The scallywags o' the 'Gutfeld!' crew be chattin’ about their wild hopes fer the grand showdown 'twixt ol’ Captain Trump and the savvy Vice Captain Harris! Will it be a rum-soaked ruckus or a fancy parley? Avast, let the jests and jabs fly like cannon fire!

Ahoy, mateys! Tomorrow be the day of reckoning, the first and likely only presidential debate before November's fateful vote! We shan't count the first debate, which was naught but a squabble over who'd shoot ol' Joe behind the barn. As Trump sails ahead in the polls like a ship in a storm, Kamala be needin' to convince the crew she ain't the same ol' swab from the last four years, yappin' like a hyena on rum. Expect her to don the disguise of a moderate or even a Republican, flippin' her positions like a fish outta water!

Now, enter Bernie Sanders, the man with more houses than sense, who claims Kamala ain't givin' up her progressive pirate's code, just bein' "pragmatic." If that ain't a bowl of soup talkin', I don’t know what is! If she’s been reckless as a drunken sailor, how can we trust her now? The scallywags at the White House be hidin’ the truth, like a treasure map without an 'X.' Joe Biden, that old sea dog, even let slip about a climate bill more crooked than a pirate's hook!

So, as ye tune in to the debate, remember: if yer strategy be hidin' yer true colors like a cowardly sea rat, what does that say about ye? In today’s Democratic crew, integrity be as rare as gold doubloons! Arrr!

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