Arrr, Tim Walz’s wild ideas be immune to yer camo hats 'n' ice fishin' shenanigans, matey!
2024-08-17
Avast, me hearties! Ye won't believe the tall tale spun by the lefty sea dogs! They reckon that Walz, that Libertine scallywag, can charm the grizzled folk of the countryside! Aye, 'tis like tryin' to sell seaweed to a fishmonger! Har har!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about Vice President Kamala Harris and her matey, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, whom she picked to sail the seas of politics together. On the 6th of August, Cap’n Harris be lookin’ fer a first mate to balance the crew with various races and genders—a fine notion if ye be stuck in the old ways! But hark! Their beliefs be as aligned as the stars on a clear night—Walz be a progressive rogue, favorin’ all things abortion, gender-affirming care for wee ones, and showerin' treasure on illegal landlubbers!Now, they’ll spin tales of Walz bein’ a champion of “Midwestern values,” yet he’s supported the most peculiar notions, like tampon machines in the gents' loo! And who be buyin’ his charm? Not a soul in the last election, I wager! The fine folks in the media be tryin’ to sell us a “folksy” image of Walz, but dressed in Carhartt and spoutin' hot dish ain’t foolin’ the sharp-eyed crew. He might be a butter-carvin’ socialist, but don’t let the plaid shirts trick ye! The New York Times be tryin’ to sell us this fancy “politics of joy,” but it be feelin’ more like a ruse than a true victory, I tell ye! So hoist the sails and keep a weather eye on this motley crew!