The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ahoy! 'Tis I, Mike Rogers! I be seekin’ Michigan’s treasure o’ votes fer the Senate, savvy? Arrr!

2024-10-31

Arrr, mateys! We be sailin' through stormy seas as a nation and state, but with crew workin' in unison and a sturdy captain in Washington, we’ll hoist the sails and chart a course to get America back on the right tide! Avast, let’s set forth!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer I be tellin' ye a tale of a brave soul and his lass, Kristi. A year past, they be wanderin' a grocery store in Brighton, where a clerk spun a sorrowful yarn 'bout families havin' to shove their precious grub back on the shelf, for the gold coins be runnin' low. Their hearts sank, seein' honest folk struggle as they toil under the weight o' high prices brought forth by the likes of Vice President Kamala Harris and her matey, Rep. Elissa Slotkin.

Across the vast lands of Michigan, this brave soul be listenin' to the woes of autoworkers, students, and seniors who keep the ship a-sailin'. With tales o' overpriced gas and groceries, he learned that families be livin' paycheck to paycheck, all whilst fearin' for their jobs bein' sent off to China. 'Tis a grim fate, indeed!

Alas, the scourge of fentanyl be hittin' home too, takin' the lives o' young ones, as Democrats turned a blind eye to dangers at the southern border. But fear not, for this lad be plannin' to fight fer the working folk! He vows to cut wasteful spendin', lower taxes on hard-earned coin, and secure the border like a true captain. Aye, he promises to champion Michigan’s makers and bring the ship of America back on course! So, hoist the sails and join the quest for a brighter future!

Read the Original Article