The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! Look sharp, matey! Berkeley's brewing up a right ruckus 'gainst the devil's brew, natural gas! Ha-ha!

2024-09-25

Arrr, on the fifth o’ November, the good folk o’ Berkely be settin’ sail to cast their votes! They be ponderin’ a measure to tax those scallywags with grand ol’ buildings, weighin’ in at 15,000 square feet or more, dependin’ on how much natural gas they be guzzlin’ each year! Yarrr!

Arrr mateys! Just when ye thought ye could whip up a hearty bowl o’ chili without a care, the fine folks o’ Berkeley, California, be stirrin’ the pot once more with a new scheme to banish natural gas! Aye, these landlubbers be undeterred by court losses and now aim to tax the big ol' buildings that dare to use it.

On the fateful day of Nov. 5, the good citizens be votin’ on a measure that’d charge buccaneers with estates of 15,000 square feet or larger some doubloons based on their gas guzzlin’. If it passes, it’ll be the first tax o’ its kind in all the seven seas! Landowners be lookin’ at $2.96 for every hundred cubic feet of the forbidden gas consumed, all calculated with a fancy formula meant to shield the future generations from the woes o’ emissions.

But beware! The local merchants be up in arms, claiming the tax be another nail in their coffers. Even if the law bans landlords from passin’ costs to renters, some say it’ll still raise prices when the winds shift.

So, me hearties, as the winds of change blow through Berkeley, let’s ponder: Will we all be forced to bid farewell to our trusty gas stoves, or will we be savin’ a spot at the table for the likes of ol’ Trumka come Thanksgiving?

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